Every loss is unique, and so is the journey with grief. I lost my beloved father only last year and nursed him through his final weeks. That time with him was as painful as it was a gift. I was lucky I got to say all the things I wanted to say and told him many times how much I loved him and what a great father he had been. A day does not go by when he is not in my thoughts or he is referred to in conversation by name. Remembering him and speaking about him keeps him close to me and is a transformative part of my grieving process. But losing someone is a different experience for all of us and such a personal journey through grief.
It is proven that names hold profound significance in the context of grief and loss, as they touch upon the emotional connection and sense of identity that is tied to a person’s name. Simply speaking the name of a departed loved one can evoke memories, emotions, and a sense of presence, providing comfort and solace to the grieving process. I know, for me, this is undoubtedly the case.
Speaking their name aloud can serve as a form of acknowledgement, validation, and remembrance, helping you to process grief and find a sense of closure. You can acknowledge a loved one in many meaningful ways even though they are no longer here on earth.
- Sharing memories with other loved ones … reflection, and happy times are great ways to remember someone and keep their memory alive.
- You could write a letter to your lost loved one and store it in a keepsake box. Writing down your memories and thoughts can be very therapeutic, allowing you to say things you may struggle to say out loud.
- You could dedicate moments of silence to their memory, too—a lovely gesture we are all used to when remembering lost war veterans and dignitaries who have made an impact on the world.
Kate Polley wrote the first loss book because she wanted to keep the name of her lost twin, Sam, very much alive, especially for his surviving twin, Finn, and other siblings. The books can be personalised and embrace the idea that no matter what, our lost loved ones are still all around us—reminding us that although they no longer walk beside us, they continue to walk in all we see in nature and mostly in our memories.
Our books have become cherished keepsakes, fostering connections between family members and honouring the memory of those who have passed away. They demonstrate how comforting it is to speak the names of our dearly departed loved ones, providing a powerful form of remembrance and healing.
No matter how you choose to #saytheirname, it is important to consider embracing this practice to honour the legacies of those you have lost and find comfort in this shared language of love and remembrance.
By Gail Powell
Loss Books
